I am not dead, are you? (SherlockXMoriarty PostRBF)

Sherlock relaxed slightly when he was told John would be unconscious until the next morning. "Very well, I will be back then," he said, not even taking note of the doctor's menace.

He looked at John one last time, and then turned towards the exit, noticing Jim had gone already.
He sighed, wondering if Jim was upset.

He called Mycroft on his way to the hotel, and created a bit of a state crisis when his brother almost had a fit.
Mycroft hadn't etertained the thought of him being still alive, and he thought the call to be a horrible joke.
Cleared that up, Sherlock was able to give instructions for John to be transfered in a private clinic, where Sherlock would have more power on what happened to him. Not to mention frequent updates.
Sherlock spent the whole cab ride on his phone and soon enough he was walking into the room he shared with Jim.

Alert eyes took in the situation rather quickly.
Jim was curled in a ball, the phone smashed on the floor.
He hadn't tried to call him, because his phone was in his pocket and he had checked it.
There was only another option at the moment.
Sebastian.
Judging by the anger, he either did not answer, or he changed his number.
He thought the latter to be more plausible, considering what happened and Sebastian's spiteful nature.

"Do you always call your ex up when things get rough?" he asked, trying to hide the jealousy in his voice. "I wouldn't worry too much if he's unavailable now, he probably wanted to make you angry... he will go back to his old number in a few days because he misses you."

Jim had fallen in to a light sleep. He hadn't heard the door open and it wasn't until he heard Sherlock's voice that his body started to stir. "hmm?" He groaned before the words actually reached his conscious mind.

"I didn't call him." He snapped, still rolled up in a ball. "I was just wondering if he was okay." He did miss Sebastian, even after all that happened. The fact Sherlock was able to be with John like that, made him feel guilty about what he did to his friend.

"How's John?" It took him every bit of dignity to ask that question, because he would rather not talk about it.

The knowledge Jim hadn't called Sebastian made him feel slightly better, and he sighed as he started to undress. "Sebastian will come around eventually... that man loves you more than he loves life itself... he can't live without you..." he muttered, even though it didn't help his jealousy, he was saying the truth. "He will be your friend if he can't be anything else..." he added, sitting on the bed once he was in his boxers, only then looking straight at Jim, trying to hide the split lip John had punched into him.

"John attacked me saying I was not real... I imagine he had a nightmare... the doctors sedated him... he will be out until the morning," he explained, trying not to sound as worried as he felt. He knew it hurt Jim to even show a bit of concern for John, and he appreciated it more than he could say.

"I told Mycroft I am back. He took it better than I thought. He is ready to grant me everything I ask for. Even a new identity for you, if you wish for one..." he said, looking at Jim thoughtful.

"I suppose so." He answered dryly. Sherlock's words made him doubt if he had done the right thing back there. Guilt was taking over his whole heart. The fact he had left someone who cared for him so deeply alone. What if he got into the same state as John? James couldn't even imagine.

James let go on his kneed once Sherlock was on the edge of the bed. It wasn't until he looked up at his boyfriend that noticed his slightly swollen and blood stained lip. James sat up straight, moving closer. "Jesus, are you okay?" He said slightly worried. His finger stretched out to run over it, stroking it softly.

Sherlock's words struck him with lightning running straight through his whole body. A new identity? A strange feeling overwhelmed him. The fact he had to drop everything, all his contacts, his old habits, organisation and now even his own identity? And all of this while Sherlock could just pick up where he had left. Not needing to leave anything behind. James felt bad, really bad. He felt alone in this. He kept quiet, not answering Sherlock.

Sherlock instinctively leaned towards Jim's touch, even though the throbbing pain in his lip. He had missed his warmth, he always missed him, it was like he could never have enough. "I am alright... it's nothing..." he whispered, kissing his hand.

The lack of response to his suggestion made him frown, he looked at the other man and saw him visibly clam up.
Obviously, it wasn't what he wanted.
He decided not to mind for now, it was up to Jim to discuss the terms if he had better ideas.

"You don't seem to be surprised I talked about you to my brother..." he said off-handedly. "Oddly enough, he wasn't either. Maybe it was the shock of learning about my fake death... but he said your obsession with me ran so deep that he imagined something like this could happen."

James laughed slightly. "Your brother and I met a few times." He said, not sure if Sherlock knew. "He sold you out completely in order to get me talking. Of course he knew I wouldn't just let you die." He explained. The fact neither of them were surprised at this, had a lot to do with that.

"We'll have this conversation another time. When we both feel a bit better. I don't feel like discussing these things now." His body automatically moved closer to his lover's one, he just wanted Sherlock close. To feel safe and sound. To feel the welcoming warmth he could always come home to.

"I knew those pieces of information had to come from Mycroft... no one knows me like he does," he admitted, as he caressed his lover's hair.

Sherlock nodded, he agreed, they were both too tired and wound up to think about this now. "Likewise, I have many things to decide about my new identity, but at the moment it seems my brain can hardly focus..." he admitted and slid on the bed, pulling Jim in his arms.

"We don't have to decide anything now... not for as long as John is in the hospital anyway..." he whispered, leaving soft kisses along the other's jaw.

Jim agreed with Sherlock and let himself calm down in his lovers arms. His own hand ran up and down over the whole length of Sherlock's side.

"I'm glad you came back." He whispered, enjoying the small kisses on his cheeks. "For a moment I..." He swallowed loud. "I thought I would lose you." He admitted, pressing himself closer to Sherlock.

Sherlock moved closer, trying to give comfort with his body other than with his words. "You should trust my feelings a bit more, Jim..." he whispered, nibbling his chin. "You shouldn't listen to your insecurities... I am here... and I want to make things work..."

Grey eyes fixed on him for a long moment, his hand slipping under the other's shirt, touching the warm skin of his back. "I don't understand why this worries you so much... John is a friend... just a friend," he explained slowly. "I am over the feelings I had for him, and he has never required me to begin with... if John asked me to choose in between his friendship and you, you would be my choice... but his health is still important to me and now he just needs help... but I can give him help even while being with you..."

Jim entangled his legs with Sherlock's. His hand still running over the man's side, slowly and tender. Sherlock's touch on his back made him arch it and caused a shiver to run through his spine.

"I know." He whispered, lips brushing over his lover's. "I know." He repeated once more. "It's just I'm afraid that certain things might plant doubt in your mind, causing you to change it and turn against me completely." he explained. "I know you love me. And this is silly. I just cannot afford to lose you." He now pressed his own lips gently on to Sherlock's. "I love you." He whispered.

"The only person that can turn me against you is you, James," he whispered, his breathing quickening slightly as their bodies tangled and Jim's back arched under his touch.

"The only moments I have doubts about us is when I see I am hurting you... when you are jealous and angry... because I don't know if I am doing you more wrong than good in forcing you to stay with me..."

His eyes were finally soft as he leaned in to kiss him, exploring his mouth with a relieved sigh. "I love you too... please... Jim... don't push me away... don't ever push me away," he whispered, sliding closer, his kisses becoming more demanding.

"You're not forcing me to stay with you. I want to be with you, but I can't change myself completely. I am a jealous person." He exposed his flaw, he indeed was very possessive.

Jim pushed his body against Sherlock's as close as he possibly could. "I don't push you away. I'll be here by your side for the rest of your days." He reassured Sherlock. His kisses now equally demanding to Sherlock's and hand caressing every inch of him.

"But there is no one to be jealous of... no one wants me like you do, no one has me like you do," he reassured him, moaning softly as their skins rubbed together in a smooth friction.
He had no idea how, but he found himself growing aroused.

For the rest of your days...
The words made his heart stutter and quiver, it was an important promise, and Sherlock felt himself counting on it.
"Don't promise things you don't indeed to keep..." he pleaded, because he had never asked Jim to commit to anything, but this felt a lot like it.

He was too scared of ulterior words though, and he silenced Jim with another kiss, even more passionate, his hand finally sliding under the waistsband of the other's trousers, grabbing his butt possessively.

"For the rest of your days." Jim moaned against Sherlock's lips. He meant what he said, he wanted to be with Sherlock for the rest of his life. This weren't just words, this was a confession coming straight from Jim's heart. One he had never made before and one he wasn't planning on ever making again.

It wasn't until Sherlock's hands gripped his ass that he became aware of his own erection. How did they manage to get here? He didn't mind and he didn't want to think about it either so he decided to shut his mind down and just let everything happen. He always treasured these moments. Moments he could never get enough of.

Jim moved his knee and pressed it against Sherlock's crotch while he kept kissing him, every time a bit more greedy.

The words in his ears again were like a painful caress, they soothed his heart but worried his mind.
Would they be able to stay together?
He couldn't help but wonder.
He wanted to believe Jim's words though, so much he felt like he could cry, kissing the other's skin and lips.

He slowly moved to take off Jim's trousers and pants, knowing he couldn't stop, he needed to feel him close.

"What do you want?" he breathed against the skin of his neck, licking a soft bruise he just created on the skin.
Jim was his and his only.

Jim found himself moaning at every touch, his erection growing so hard he could feel like climaxing already. He moved on top of Sherlock, grinding their hips together and bending over, leaving kissing all over Sherlock's chest up to his lips, cheek and then ear.

"I want you." He whispered seductive and deep. "I want you to scream my name when I fuck that beautiful arse of yours." He keps whispering while his hand now slipped down and started to massage Sherlock's balls. "I want you so badly." He whispered in the other's ear.

Sherlock arched and moaned towards every single touch, his body oversensitive to Jim's attentions.
"Yes," he exclaimed, "Yes, please, do it, fuck me," he whimpered, his legs parting instinctively, welcoming his lover, inviting his lower.

"God Jim... just your voice... is enough to make me hard... harder than ever..." he whispered, his own hand going down the other's chest, liking the way the other was claiming him, his fingers grazed along Jim's erection, teasing.

Sherlock's begging was driving him insane. He needed this and he needed it now. The fact he was teasing him wasn't helping to calm this need down either. As Sherlock parted his legs, Jim's hand moved in between, his finger running along his crack, now it was his turn to tease.

With Jim being so lustful he forget about lube completely. His finger already buried deep inside the other, preparing him for what was about to follow in not much longer than a few seconds.

Sherlock shivered when he felt the other's finger near his opening, it was slowly entering him, and he was shaking in need.
It hurt a bit, it was oddly dry, but God, he wanted this, he wanted Jim to claim him completely, he wanted to forget about the rest of the world and think only about his lover buried deep inside him.

"Go on," he pleaded, feeling Jim's finger rub along his prostate, his brain disconnecting completely. He needed this. God, he needed this.

Jim retrieved his finger and only one second later he was pushing in the head of his erection already. He bit down his lower lip to muffle the moan that tried to escape. His hands cupped Sherlock's hips, pulling him closer on him. "Oh Sherlock." He moaned ever so passionately as he felt the warmth of Sherlock surrounding his unprotected arousal.

Slowly he started to thrust, making himself go in deeper. Jim closed his eyes as he enjoyed every second of this magical feeling.

((Mm, unprotected sex is baaad! People who read this, don't do it at home! >> ))

Sherlock had no idea what was happening, but it felt completely different compared to all the other times they did it before. This time it wasn't so much as stretching that appeared to be a problem, because his muscles were ready to welcome Jim inside, and he was smiling in satisfation as he felt his warm flesh inside his body.

When Jim started moving though he realized he was not prepared at all, the friction on his almost dry skin was sending chills of pain up his spine and he panted for air.
"God... wait... slowly..." he whimpered, grabbing the fabric under his hands in a deathgrip.

(( I know it's baaad! D8 And people who read this: not just home. Don't do it in general! ))

Everything felt completely different, though the friction this was giving him was one he'd never felt before. Jim moaned loud with every move he made, ready to start pumping in and out of Sherlock.

He had to force himself to slow down on Sherlock. Only realizing now how much pain this must be causing his boyfriend. Strange enough, that fact was driving him crazy as well. Everything was driving him crazy at the moment.

"Sorry." He whispered as he saw the painful grimace on Sherlock's face, though he was not planning on stopping.

The determination on Jim's face was making Sherlock's body shake in want, he had no idea why he found the pain arousing at the moment, but he did, and he arched towards it eventually.
His skin was breaking, and there was blood making things easier, serving as lube.

He had no idea what was happening, but he welcomed the relief, pushing down his hips to meet Jim's thrusts.
"Mm... Jim..." he whimpered, pulling him closer for a kiss.

Jim lowered himself over Sherlock's chest to reach his lips. The kiss was telling everything he felt inside, it was both romantic and very lustful. He held on for it for as long as possible.

Slowly he started to built up a smooth, steady pace. He was making sure Sherlock was coping every time he decided to increase his speed and strength.

"Oh god." He whimpered occasionally. Every thrust felt like a strike of lightning hitting his whole body, making him shiver and tingle.

By then Sherlock was lost in a haze of pleasure, a few movements sometimes still had him grimace in pain, but it all added to the impulses that flooded his brain. The kiss swept him completely off his feet, making him bite on the other's lip, nibble clumsily on his chin, he was completely gone, just wrapped into desire.

Soon his whole body was tingling in anticipation and he moved his hand down his chest, fingers wrapping around his own erection, moving at the same time as Jim's thrusts.