I am not dead, are you? (SherlockXMoriarty PostRBF)

Even when he was at the point of making the cap turn around as he heard sherlock's words, he didn't. He laughed almost obnoxious. "And how long would we last? You'd go insane from boredom and I'd shoot my brain out for distraction." A shiver hit his spine as he talked. He'd always wanted a to life with sherlock, to built up a live together and god knows what else. But at this moment, with the way sherlock wanted it, he just couldn't agree on it.

"I don't want to know this, I /need/ to know this. Just THINK about it for one second. Someone sends me an email, someone who thinks I'm dead. Why would he email a dead man? His actions are completely in vain yet he still tried it." James could repeat this a million times, but sherlock would always undo his arguments. This was and endless discussion with two different sides all proven right. And perhaps broken hearts as a prize.

Sherlock rolled his eyes: "We would have to build ourselves a new life, we would need to find a job, we can't possibly just wait forever to go back to what we had before... we lost that, and I have difficulties understanding that, but so have you," he replied annoyed. "We can create out own distractions, we are... the bests at that, aren't we..."

"Who is this person who sent you the mail? Is it Sebastian?" he asked irked, it would make sense on why Jim was so set on going. Why he wanted Sherlock to go with though, he had no idea. "What were you expecting really? Asking me to come? That I would become your pet, walking you everywhere and waiting for your cuddles?"

"We both know it's not that easy." Was his simple and only reply to that. He was getting rather pissed off with sherlock although he could see where he was coming from. James worked so hard to get sherlock in to feeling what he was now.

As sherlock mentioned sebastian james abruptly looked up. "Perhaps" he said in a cracked voice. " I don't know." He swallowed hard. " I already told you why, to me things doesn't change."

"Of course it's not easy, nothing is easy," he protested, and glared at Jim. "It surely is very difficult if it is not what you want," he added in a whisper. He thought he knew why Jim wasn't very much up for it, it was because he did't want to give up his organization, and that was the main problem.

"There is a world of difference," he mumbled, crossing his arms over his chest. If it was Sebastian, who had contacted him, then Jim was doing this for love, and not just because his cell was at risk.

James wasn't much up to argue any further, it was leading no where. Sherlock wanted him to give up everything he has, but he couldn't, not yet. It took him so long to convince Sherlock of his intentions, of the fact he loved him. It took him an even bigger effort to make Sherlock love him back, so he guessed now it was Sherlock's time to convince him he should let go of all the things he ever was.

He just smiled weakly, before turning his head to stare out of the window. James wasn't the person to give up easily at all, but this argument would only ruin more than the situation was already doing. They both had a different opinion on this, basically because they were on different sides. James sighed and tried to clear his mind out...

The silence stretched in between them and he felt himself grow colder. This was uncharacteristic of him. He had never wished to share his life with anyone, so why should he now? Jim was his enemy and he was supposed to hate him.

He closed his eyes, sighing. The truth was that he missed him, even now, sitting side by side in a cab, he just wanted to lean over and rest his head on his shoulder, he wanted to feel his scent, his warmth, while instead they were arguing and distant.
It hurt more than he wanted to admit, and he would do anything to go back to a few days ago when they were making love in their shared bed.

James remained silent for the rest of the journey. He could be just as stubborn as his fellow passenger. When he saw the signs naming the airport he felt weak on the inside. Chewing on his lower lip he felt the taxi slow down. Knowing Sherlock wouldn't pay he once again threw a fair amount of money to the driver who, just as his colleague, seemed to burst with joy.

Once inside the terminal building he went looking for the right check in point. Not looking back at Sherlock, he slowly started to stroll to into the right direction. His mind had been thinking so much. It considered giving up, going though, staying, every other possible option...

Sherlock looked at him sadly, Jim wasn't waiting for him, he realized, and his heart seemed to clench in his chest.
No doubt that was heart-break, he thought sourly.

He did not complain though, going after him and turning only to look at the departures panel, checking where they were supposed to go. He didn't even know where they were flying to.

The moment he looked back down he realized Jim was not in view any more.

He lost him.

"Jim," he whispered, looking around, his eyes desperate, searching the crowd for the only familiar face he had left.

Jim wouldn't leave him behind, no, he would never, he would never, right?

James didn't look back, not even once. He knew he'd lost Sherlock half an hour ago. He didn't had the tickets, he didn't knew where to go. James needed time, time to think and consider all his options. He didn't need Sherlock close at the moment, he didn't want to start a scene in the middle of the airport, he'd deal with all of this when he calmed down.

An hour later he took out his phone and called. Only a few moments later he had a few people looking out for Sherlock and, if he was still there, escort him to the gate. Their flight would leave in half an hour and James knew that in case Sherlock would have left already, it wasn't worth his time. It was all been in vain and it probably always will be. At least he tried.

Sherlock felt like a lost puppy, he hated himself for feeling that way, standing in the middle of Narita airport, waiting for something that would not come.
His logic would have helped him in this moment, but he could hardly think straight.
He wanted to scream, he wanted to cry, but he did nothing, his coldness surfacing and taking hold of him again.

He had been abandoned. Truly and utterly abandoned.
He stood there with his trolley by his leg, and looked up at the departures schedule.
He should just choose one place and go.
He didn't want to go anywhere though.

There was just this loneliness in his chest that he could not control, it was spreading in his chest and darkening his heart.

The men found him there, still there.
He followed them silently, he knew what to expect by now, his mind seemed to be working again.

He became livid when he saw Jim, he walked up to him, and the moment he was in front of him his arm moved back.
He punched him squarely in the face, with all the strength he could muster.

His heart jumped in his chest at the sight of Sherlock following the 2 black suited men. He wasn't expecting it to be a happy reunion but he didn't expect what happened either. With a yelp he fell back into the seat he'd just got up from. Only a few moments later he could taste the metallic flavour of his own blood. Sherlock's fist had hit him right on the lips.

His own hand stretched to sweep away some of the dripping blood before he straightened up and went standing up again. He totally understood where Sherlock was coming from. If someone was to do this to him he'd just blow up the whole place. James was just happy Sherlock was still here and he was now actually standing in front of him. "Next time aim for a less practical part of my face, will you?" He said trying not to make his swollen lip move too much. A pulse has formed inside and he sounded like a complete idiot when he tried to speak.

Sherlock was about to do just that, but one of the men intervened, taking his arms and pulling him back, away from Moriarty.
His eyes were flashing with anger, he wanted to say so many things, but he knew he would regret all of them.

He struggled against the man for a moment, but then he calmed down, knowing it was rather useless. There was just so much anger in his body, it was making him shake.

He wanted to say he was going home, that there was no way in hell he was going with Jim now, but his throat was dry and he could not speak, overwhelmed by all the feelings he could not control.



((I am amazed by the drama we can come up with O.O ))

James was already prepared to take another hit and expected it to be either breaking his jaw or nose. But nothing came and he saw Sherlock struggle against the men that brought him here. With a huff he swept some more blood away.

"Let go of him and leave." He demanded the men and they immediately let go of Sherlock, nodded towards James and left the place. Without a single emotion he held out Sherlock's plane ticket. "Flight leaves in 20 minutes." He said cold.

Sherlock glared at the men as they let go of him, they were clearly unhappy with the idea, rather sure he would cause a scene.
He straightened his clothes, the anger boiling under his skin, but he looked gloriously imperturbed on the surface.

He slapped Jim's hand, the ticket falling on the floor.
It hurt more than he expected it, to do something that rash, but his anger was not making him think again, his world was just hurt and hate.

"I thought you would come back for me, for the first half an hour I really thought you just didn't notice I wasn't behind you any more. I trusted you," he started, his voice had a different tone, one no one had ever heard before.

"Then I realized you chose to leave me behind," he tilted his head to the other side, his eyes turning empty. "And I decided to wait for one reason only. I wanted to tell you something, I wanted to tell you that I gave you everything I had and everything I was, that I asked you to have a life with me, I was even willing to follow you," he continued, and stepped back, a soft tear falling down his pale cheek.

"You refused all of that when you walked away," his hand was shaking as he waved it.

"Now I am walking away. But you've got to know it is you who made me," he finished, and turned around, pulling his trolley towards the opposite direction.



((Sorry >> Sherlock likes to be dramatic, he can't help it I guess, and he's had one hour to brew this on >> we have to find a way for them to come back together though >> this is killing me ;_; if you can't have Jim go after him now, then we can have them meet some time later in another place? I reckon Sherlock just needs to be snogged senseless though >> ))

(( I have no idea what I should do now. First I was thinking about making James say something like 'until the next time Mr. Holmes' and just hop on the plane and than realizes it was Sebastian who send the email. But I have no idea on how to bring them back together. And honestly I don't feel like starting all over again because I would need to do the same things as I did before to convince Sherlock and urgh I really don't like that idea. So I was than thinking about letting James run after Sherlock to stop him and kiss him and do him right at the spot. but then they'd miss the plane and I'm not sure whether Sherlock would even come if I do run after him to kiss him. + it would lead into not going and giving up the organisation. I think Jim eventually will do that but step by step. he wouldn't just let everything fall, nomatter how much he'd love to be with Sherlock. I really don't see him doing that. So I have no idea what to do now honestly :s ))

((You don't mean they should break up for good, do you? ;__; it would be so sad to have written 30 pages of RP and having them break up at the end! *clings* ;____; ))

((Even if Jim left, I think if they met again, it wouldn't be the same as the beginning, because they would be more mature and stuff...))

((How about... Jim decides to go, he turns around and moves towards the gate, but then just before going in he turns around one last time, hesitating, and he sees from afar that Sherlock has not left the airport and is not going in the opposite direction, but he's actually taking his ticket up from the floor, and brushing his tears away, just looking at the ticket... maybe that would be the nudge he needs to realize Sherlock cares deeply for him? And that the cold words were just because Sherlock's insecure and knows he cannot be second to Jim's job? I dunno >< Even if they miss the plane, they can always get the next one >> I agree with Jim wanting to do things step by step, it makes sense, Sherlock doesn't know that though... I was going along to have them go to Canada and meet Seb actually, I don't know how this happened!! They are a rowdy bunch, those two!! So much pride and all >> ))

(( Noo breaking up for good would break my real life heart as well haha. I just had so much options and I didn't really knew what to do because I don't actually know how James Moriarty would react in this kind of situation other than just heartlessly leaving Sherlock behind. That being said I do like your idea indeed. And I know right? One moment we're going to canada, the other we're having a fight at the airport's gate without even intending to. haha. But it's what I really love about our role plays. Even if we have a plot, there's always so much more to it.))

James was speechless, heartbroken and complete and utterly upset about everything Sherlock just said. He wanted to say a million things, he wanted to scream out how much he loved Sherlock. How much he'd want to stay and be with him. He'd want to marry him and build up a new life somewhere no one even knew their names. He'd want so much, but nothing happened. Not a single words came out when he opened his mouth. Only one tear swimming over his cheek line and dripping onto his suit. He nodded and licked his lips, which were dryer then ever. "Goodbye, Sherlock." He said quiet, voice raw but filled up with every emotion he felt on the inside.

James turned around slowly and walked a few steps. He felt so torn, so broken up, so empty. After only another few steps he stopped and closed his eyes. He swallowed hard and inhaled deep. His head turned to look around, Sherlock was still walking to other way. Of course he was, what did James even expect?

He forced his body to carry on, to keep walking. Everything they had got destroyed and it was all his fault. No matter how much he wished he could blame someone else, there was only him. If only he would swallow his pride for once. If only he'd took Sherlock by the hand earlier in stead of leaving him behind or just decided to ignore the email. He hated himself so much at this moment.

Once he arrived at the gate he handed over his passport and plane ticket. The woman accepted it, telling him he needed to hurry because the plane was soon leaving. As she handed him back his passport he decided to look over his shoulder one final time. "Excuse me." He said, his head dizzy but his body already moving away from the desk.

Sherlock wasn't walking away, Sherlock stood crying with the ticket in his hand. He had turned around again and decided to come back for whatever reason. The reason didn't really matter to James, he was there and it was enough to stop him from getting on to that plane. Another wave of emotions washed over him as he was now only a few steps away from the man he loved so dearly.

"I'll stay." Was the only thing he managed to bring out, not sure if Sherlock knew he had turned around and walked back and was now standing in front of him, swallowing all his pride.

((Oh my, this is so romantic!! I almost cried there!! And yes, I do like the unpredictability of our RPs as well XDD they are all nice and fluffy in one point and then roar pure excitement and drama the next, it's good because that way we get the best of both~~))


Sherlock had said what he wanted to say, he had performed his little revenge, re-delivering the hurt he had received with a coldness that surprised even himself.
Now he was walking away, from the man he loved and probably more problems that he would ever be able to count.

Going away now was the easy way, he could tell his pride it was what Jim deserved, or that he could not stand to be treated that way, but the truth was that he was heart-broken and utterly alone.

And at some point he wasn't walking away any more.

His pride was gone, his hatred was thin smoke, there was only the knowledge he had loved and lost, and he had nothing in his hands to prove that he did.

Sherlock moved without realizing it, he walked back towards where his ticket still laid on the floor.
He took it.
He read his name, the destination, the time of boarding.
A few minutes and Jim would be gone, and with him Sherlock's heart.

They could have been together, he realized.
He could have tried to be happy at least.

He started crying, pitying himself and his uselessness, keeping the ticket tight in his pale fingers because it was the only chance he ever had at happiness.

He jumped when he heard the voice, turning around to see Jim standing there like a mirage in the desert.

He didn't think.
He just ran in his arms, burying his face in his neck and crying in relief now.

Jim was there, he was with him, he didn't leave.

"I will go wherever you want me to, I will be with you... always. I promise, Jim, I promise," he whispered, desperate, he just wanted to know this was real.


((Okay, bed now ^^ I feel better though ^^ ))

James started crying like a baby when Sherlock'd arms embraced him. He clung onto the detective as if it were the last thing he'd ever do. He was happy, happy Sherlock wasn't breaking him down over more. Tears kept streaming down and he embraced Sherlock even tighter.

"Right now we're not going anywhere at all." He assured Sherlock. He didn't want to leave, canada could wait. Whoever emailed him could wait. The whole nation could be begging for him, he would not go. All he needed was locked between his arms.

(( I KNOW RIGHT haha! Goodnight! <3 ))

Sherlock had never cried like that, not even when faking his death, not even when he was a child. But again these feelings were a mixture of things he had never felt, and he had really thought he had lost Jim for good.

"I thought you were gone," he stammered, arms around his waist, so tight it could hurt, he just wanted to know Jim was there for real, he was flesh and bones and breathing. "I am such a fool," he continued, breathless. "I want to be with you..."

James wrapped his arms around sherlock even tighter,his hands gripping on the fabric of his coat. He felt so stupid for acting like a selfish bastard earlier.

"I'm sorry" he kept repeating for a while, whispering it against sherlock's shoulder. "I won't leave you, I'll stay. I'll /always/ stay." He said, at that moment he meant every word he said. This was his heart speaking, not interrupted by his mind. "I love you." He said even more quiet than the previous words.

Sherlock was finally registering a few of the words Jim was saying, they warmed his heart, they told him they were the same, their feelings were the same.

He pulled a bit away, cupping Jim's cheeks and looking at him. "We both know that's not possible," he said, and smiled hesitantly. "But if we combine a bit of your staying and a bit of my coming with you, we might just make it," he conceded.

"I love you too," he whispered, and kissed his lips.

He smiled at sherlock's words. A nice kind of warmth filling up his whole body. With every bit of love and passion he returned the received kiss.

After a few seconds, or minutes.. He couldn't even tell. He broke the kiss. "Let's go from here." He said, no idea where to go. Probably an airport hotel or something he figured, hoping sherlock had something planned now.

Sherlock pulled away hesitantly, he looked at the ticket in his hand. "We can still make it, the gate hasn't closed yet," he said, motioning to where the hostesses were looking into their direction, their attention caught by the touching scene.

"I am okay with it, and we'll have 8 hours to spend side by side, we won't be able to have sex, but at least we are together," he tried to joke, not sure if it was the best thing to do, but it seemed to be a good option at the moment.
"Real life will grab us some time soon either way... we have got to learn to live with it..."

James once more was hit by surprise. Sherlock didn't want to leave the airport and wanted to hop on the flight?! His heart was beating fast and he just wanted to hug and kiss this man all over again.

His eyes rolled while he laughed. "Well what are we waiting for then?" He said, taking Sherlock's hand and leading both of them to the desk again. He was hoping the hostesses wouldn't say a word about the scene they just witnessed, it might of ruin things completely.

They were traveling business class and had 2 seats by the window to themself. Space was big enough and there only seemed to be just a few other passengers here. "Not bad." He said as he sat down in how own seat.

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