Back from the Dead (Sherlock)

John's eyes were fixed on Sherlock as the two brothers talked, he was trying to think about the case, about the danger they were in, but he kept getting distracted by the thoughts of what had just happened between them.

Were they together now? He wondered and then shook his head, trying to concentrate on what was much more important, their safety.

"Without Moriarty, I doubt they can come up with a plan that will truly put us in difficulty..." he said at some point. "Sherlock can outsmart anyone."

Mycroft arched his eyebrow. "Of course, we all know the brilliance of my brother. But we don'T want to see that marvelous brain on the wall, so I will get you your supplies. And as Moran is a wanted man in 8 countries and three continents, I will have my people on the job."

"We don't need your people." Sherlock spat. "John and I can handle this. But I suppose you're going to insist as always."

Sherlock folded his arms in a huff and fell back onto the armchair.

"How soon can you arrange it?"

"It is not up for negotiation, brother. We are after Moran as well."

Mycroft gotup and made for the door. "I am on it now. It will be here in two hours. Good day, brother."

Sherlock didn't bother to stand up.

"Good day brother," he mimiced Mycroft with a wave of his hand, then craned his neck to make sure he was actually leaving. Then he picked up the cushion and threw it across the room.

"I don't need looking after!" he shouted to no one in particular. "I can look after myself!"

John didn't bother saying goodbye to Mycroft, he was rather glad he was going and he didn't want to make it sound that way. He liked to be well-mannered after all. At times. Sometimes. Maybe.

John's eyebrow rose in question when Sherlock threw the pillow across the room, and he looked at him.

"If that was to show your maturity, it did not work," he joked and laughed a bit.
He was laughing again, he realized.
Another small miracle.
Sherlock was certainly on fire today.

Sherlock turned and offered his flatmate one of his broad grins, knowing he was right, before standing up and joining John to hover in the doorway of the kitchen. He leaned lazily against the wall of the partition and looked at his watch.

"Two hours till he comes back. What shall we do?"

Being alone with John again gave Sherlock a pleasant feeling, but then he suddenly recalled everything they'd been saying before Mycroft had arrived and it filled him with dread and fear. He screwed his eyes closed tight for a few seconds to try and clear his head. He knew if he started trying to make sense of it he'd get all confused and frustrated, things would become even cloudier than they always were. He was aware of a slightly awkward moment between them when neither of them said anything. He wasn't sure what it meant. He looked at John and made eye contact, searching his face to check he was OK. He was smiling. Good sign.

John felt himself grow restless as the silence stretched, he was wondering what exactly they were supposed to do.
He was curious, he had to admit, to know what it was like to be close to Sherlock in a way they had never been.
He was scared of that as well, something too new for him to take mindlessly.
He felt the nagging memory of before Mycroft arrived pushing and pulling at the back of his mind.

He had been about to kiss Sherlock right then.

"Mm...er... how about snogging?" he suggested lightly. "It's usually a nice way to pass the time."

There. He threw it out there.
Up to Sherlock to reject the idea now.

Sherlock was completely taken aback by John's blunt openness...so much so he actually burst out laughing, although he quickly stopped when he noticed John's hurt expression.

"No I didn't mean..." he tried to explain. "I'm just...I didn't expect...I'm don't know if..." Sherlock realised he was babbling and stammering, and not actually making any sense. He closed his mouth, shut his eyes and took a deep breath.

"Yes."

((aw, Sherlock's so cute <3))


"Yes?" he repeated surprised, and then blinked. "Yes? Well, great. Yes." he said, and stood up nervously, then he pursed his lips in thought.

"Have you ever...?" he reckoned it was better to ask, he didn't want to scare Sherlock off by doing something utterly out of line.

He slowly moved closer.
"You might need to sit down... you are bit too tall for me," he tried to joke, to lighten the mood and all.

Sherlock knew John was asking whether he'd ever kissed anyone before and his cheeks briefly gave a flush of red and he looked away. But John wasn't stupid. Of course he would have noticed, Sherlock said to himself. Might as well just come out with it.

"Um...no I've...this is all new to me."

He turned and made his way over to the sofa where he sat and waited for John to join him, nervously jigging his legs up and down.

John nodded, frowning a bit as he tried to piece in all the information he had about the detective.
"You never... felt you wanted to kiss someone?" he asked, he needed to keep talking, just so things were not going to slip into awkwardness.

He moved to stand in between Sherlock's knees, his hand moving down to stop the nervous movement of his leg.
"Are you really okay with it?" he asked, looking back at him and realizing when their eyes met that they were rather close already.
His voice was suddenly lower, cautious, but sensual.
"Have you ever researched it? Studied the mechanics?"
Would Sherlock know what to expect?

Sherlock could feel his heart racing in his chest already and nothing had even happened yet. His mouth was dry and sticky. He quickly ran his tongue over his lips before forming an answer, finding the touch of John's hand on his knee reassuring.

"I know what to do," he said, trying to sound his normal confident arrogant self but betrayed by the shaking in his voice. "I've read about it, I've seen others doing it, I've just...the opportunity has never presented itself before. I've never...noticed people in that way. I notice mud on their trousers and dog hairs and ink stains and what they've had for dinner that day but I couldn't even begin to tell you whether they're attractive or not or whether - " He stopped himself. "I'm...I'm talking too much aren't I?"

John was grinning as Sherlock rambled on. He thought it was rather endearing, and it only made him more confident in his attraction for the other man.
He could do this, he could definitely do this.
He didn't warn him, he didn't wait for him to finish talking, he just leaned down and kissed his lips, his fingers grazing the other's jaw just softly.

He had never kissed a man, really, but it didn't seem like a scary challenge at the moment.

His heart was beating fast in his chest, and he just wanted to treasure this, the feeling of Sherlock warm and soft under him.

John took him completely by surprise. Somehow he had imagined they would sit down and discuss it first, work it all out in a methodical and scientific way, but before he could even finish speaking John had swooped down and pressed his lips on Sherlock's.

Sherlock felt his eyes closing against their will and his heart leapt in his chest before beginning to pound violently. The sensation was unlike anything he'd ever felt before and wasn't really how he'd imagined it at all. In fact it was much better.

It was only a brief kiss. A few seconds. He imagined John was giving him time to adjust to the new experience and by God, he needed it. As he pulled away his head fell back against the wall. He noticed he was breathless. He tried to make mental notes of the sensations, to analyse them, but it was no good, he couldn't concentrate properly.

"John I..." he stammered. "I don't know what to say."

John was in a similar state, he hadn't expected his heart to go crazy just because Sherlock Holmes was kissing him.
It was overwhelming.

"You don't have to say anything," he said, moving closer again, caressing Sherlock's pale cheek with his thumb.
Blues eyes fixed intent on the other's gaze.
He was just so beautiful.

"Just tell me if you want me to stop," he added, his fingertips now playing with the other's black locks.

Sherlock contemplated the idea of them stopping and he realised very quickly that wasn't an option. This was already more thrilling and exciting than any drugs he had ever taken and with this new side to their friendship boredom might possibly be a thing of the past.

He stared into the depths of John's grey blue eyes and wondered whether he should return the kiss. He began to imagine it inside his head, first of all he'd STOP IT! Just stop it! he shouted at himself inwardly. Just bloody get on with it.

Forcing his mind to shut down he reached up with both hands, grabbed either side of John's head, bringing their lips crashing together, surprised and pleased by his own reaction.

John was pleasantly surprised by Sherlock's initiative, he reckoned it was answer enough for now.
He leaned closer, careful, fitting them to a better angle as he returned the kiss, lips slowly parting as he pressed back.

"Step 2," he whispered against the other's mouth, before he slipped his tongue in between his lips and explored.
God, how long had it been since he kissed anyone at all?
And this, this was worth all the wait, he thought as he registered the other's unique taste.

As John's tongue entered his mouth, Sherlock heard himself utter a surprised moan of pleasure and delight. His arms reached up and wrapped themselves around John's back, pulling him down to sit on top of him. He opened his lips slightly, allowing John to explore his mouth further then copied the Doctor's actions by darting his own tongue into the mouth of the other. As he did so he felt something stirring between his legs and realised he was starting to get an erection. He broke off from the kiss...dizzy, weak and excited.

"My God John..." he stammed breathlessly. "Is...is this what people do...when they love each other?"

He knew it probably sounded like a stupid question, but it had never occured to Sherlock to equate love with sexual activity.

John wasn't really thinking much, he just found himself in Sherlock's lap and debated whether it was a good thing or not.
It felt good, so he settled for that.

It really didn't look like Sherlock had no idea what he was doing, John was pretty much melting against him.

"Mm? Yes... well, yes, usually... this and other things... you know," he said with a shrug. "Snogging, touching, humping, getting naked, sex, all those options," he muttered embarrassed.

Sherlock could feel himself blushing again as he held John's body close against his. It was something he'd never considered before. He leaned in close to John's neck and carressed it gently with his lips before inhaling deeply, breathing in the wonderful intoxicating smell of his friend...or should he say lover? Was that what they were now? Lovers?

Sherlock contemplated whether he was prepared to take things further...he was worried about things changing between him and John. He wouldn't want anything to ruin their friendship. What if they both regretted it? What if John decided he didn't really love Sherlock anymore? That he'd changed his mind? What if Sherlock wasn't good enough? What if he couldn't perform in the bedroom department? It's not as if he'd had much practice when compared to John.

A thousand questions raced through his mind like a thousand voices all babbling at once, filling him with doubt and fear. His head was aching with it. He gave John a gentle shove and pushed him aside onto the sofa, releasing himself from under him and standing up. He ran his fingers through his hair in frustration. He felt like screaming, yelling, crying, anything. He was so nervous but yet he couldn't ignore the tingling and throbbing in his pants...his body telling him he wanted more even though his heart and his head were unable to submit.

John felt his skin tingle when Sherlock brushed along his neck, it was delicate and intimate, it made long shiver run down his spine. God, he couldn't believe he wanted another man.

The next moment he was shoved to the side though and he gasped as Sherlock stood up and started pacing the living room.

"What happened?" he asked, confused. "Did I do something wrong?" he stammered worriedly, he did not want Sherlock to panic. Especially because he was quite insecure himself about all this, he knew there would be no turning back if they decided to be together for real, and it was scary.

He stopped pacing and faced John. He could see the pain and confusion on his face and it made Sherlock's heart break...

"No it's not you," he whined. "I'm just...I'm...I'm...I'm scared...of my own feelings."

He felt so alone and small at that moment, like a lost child in the middle of a giant supermarket. He desperately wished John could read his mind so he wouldn't have to vocalise his thoughts all the time...Right now he just wanted some reassurance that things were going to be OK.

John sighed and reached out for Sherlock's hands, taking them into his and pulling him closer.
"Sherlock... stop worrying," he whispered, looking up at him with soft eyes.

"We don't have to do anything you don't want to, and we don't have to hurry... we are together now, yes? We can talk and decide what to do together... there are no rules, just us," he explained wishing to reassure him.

"And I am yours. Forever," he confessed.

Sherlock found there were tears in his eyes. He never realised he could be so emotional. He wrapped his arms around John and pulled him close, cherishing the warmth of his body and the pleasant scent of his hair as it wafted under Sherlock's nose.

The importance of John's words began to resonate around his brain...I am yours. Forever. He would always have John. He could always count on John. John would always love him. The thought of it made him so happy. Maybe things could really work out after all. It didn't have to ruin their friendship. It may even strengthen it...

"I want to kiss you again." he heard himself saying.