by John Watson MD Sat Aug 18, 2012 9:35 pm
John's chest tightened when he looked into Adam's eyes, he realized Sherlock's words had hurt him, and that his new friend cared for him just as much as he did. His feelings were a storm, but the last thing he wanted was for Adam to think he was playing with him.
"Adam, I- wait!" he started, but the man was retreating, running away to the kitchen, and Sherlock was there, looking at him, offended and proud.
"You were quick to replace me," he accused him bitterly, John rubbed his forehead in frustration, his heart seemed to be ripping into two. "I am not replacing you... one can have more than one friend, Sherlock..."
"Friends don't kiss," was his repeated reply, and he stepped closer, very close to John, looking at him with piercing eyes. "You cannot afford to get close to someone like him, John, how can you help someone else when you are utterly unbalanced to begin with?"
John looked to the side, humiliation and embarrassment colouring his cheeks. He couldn't deny he was messed up, saying he was unbalanced was only a nice way to put it, he knew that, but man it hurt, it hurt so much to know he was not even entitled to have an innocent crush on someone. It wasn't just someone though, it was Adam, and Adam... well, he would never forgive himself if he hurt him.
Sherlock felt guilty as he ran his eyes over John's face, he realized he had said too much, he realized he was jealous, he realized he was not making things any easier.
"I am sorry... I... I know it's none of my business... but... but I can't help but worry... I know this is all my fault..."
John looked up surprised, eyes restless, Sherlock was... apologizing?
"I think I... I need to talk to Adam for a minute..." he muttered, overwhelmed by the whole situation.
Sherlock's jaw clenched, but he nodded, moving to sit on what used to be his armchair.
"I can wait," he said coldly, looking outside.
There was another pang of hurt in his heart as he saw him sitting there like the old times, but he pushed it away, making his way to the kitchen.
"Adam..." he muttered as he stepped closer.