by John Watson MD Fri Apr 27, 2012 4:45 am
John realized he had said something wrong, or maybe it was his body, he didn't know, Sherlock was always able to read him too well. And now the detective was pulling away again, turning away again, and John had no idea what to do.
It made sense though, John had cheated on his girlfriend, he had been unable to do things properly, Sherlock had every right to be offended. Or worse, hurt.
The apology didn't make sense though. He frowned at Sherlock's back, feeling way too naked in their kitchen.
"I... you..." he took in a deep breath. "Sherlock, don't blame yourself for something I participated willingly in... damn, I don't think I have ever wanted anything so much... I... I let you fuck me... it must mean something!" he protested, and rubbed his frown frustrated.
"I don't want things to get awkward between us, and I am sorry I didn't do things in the right order... but..." he didn't know what to say, could he tell Sherlock he wanted them to be together? Could he have a real relationship with him? Not to mention he was still running too fast, first he had to break up with Mary.
"I... I need to know what you want..." he confessed, his eyes searching the other's body for some sort of reaction, but it wasn't very helpful since the other man was looking the opposite way.