He scratched his head, he didn't know what the answer was. He could just about say it was morally justifiable to occupy her mind and switch it off by making love to her when they both wanted to. If Sam wanted to make love though he wanted it to be a good first time for her, something she would look back on as having been...beautiful, special, not something she would regret tomorrow for going too fast or, God forbid, an unwanted pregnancy.
Christ any normal couple would cuddle up and watch tv with their Chinese and they'd know she was on the pill, because they'd have spoken about it. But they weren't a normal couple, they couldn't be. Sam was...Sam, her father once shot... shot...the wall of the flat out of boredom. John knew how to cope. He could ask him, but he thought he ought to figure it out himself, prove he was up to the job too, worthy of respect from John.