Come back to me (Sherlock Holmess/John Watson MD)

"Yes, John. Things." He exclaimed. How could he possibly explain what the things he felt meant? He hardly knew so himself. His chest just got filled with a strange kind of heat and his stomach felt tingly. His whole mind gets distracted from anything and can only focus on one person. How does one explain those things?

"adrenaline, dopamine and serotonin." He blurred out. Love is a chemical reaction, Sherlock figured. However, he could tell by John's puzzled face that he didn't understand what Sherlock was on about.

"Adrenaline, you start sweating when you see the person you like. The heart starts racing, pumping more of it through your veins. The mouth goes dry, leaving the tongue thick and dry, making it more complicated to speak." He explained. Sherlock had felt all of this when he ran in here and saw John. He had felt it when they first saw each other again.

"Dopamine has the same effect on the brain as cocaine." He continues, leaving John no time to interrupt and his words came out like a water fall, his voice building up from low and deep, to rather fierce by the end. "This chemical stimulates ‘desire and reward’ by triggering an intense rush of pleasure. Increased energy, less need for sleep or food, focused attention and exquisite delight in smallest details of the relationship."

"And last Serotonin. One of love's most important and dangerous chemicals causing you can only think about one certain person. Serotonin levels of new lovers are equivalent to the low serotonin levels of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder patients. John can't you see what this is doing to me?" He snapped at the end.

John couldn't help but gape at Sherlock, shocked, surprised, listening to every word as if it was water in the desert. Of course he knew what those hormones were, but he couldn't believe his ears. There were a lot of words in his explanation, but all he could think about was that it only meant one thing.

His face became completely red and it felt hot and burning. "Are you saying you fancy me?" he exclaimed, because he needed to know, he needed Sherlock to use real words, otherwise he would never be at peace, his racing heart would never calm down and he would never let himself hope.

Sherlock's chest got crushed by feelings when John asked him that question. Did he really had to put it like that? It sounded so real, so human. His heart raced in his chest and his cheeks turned as red as John's.

"I.. I.. I.." he stammered before clearing his throat. "I think I do." he then said confident, his eyes restlessly scanning over John's face.

John blinked, he couldn't believe his ears. Sherlock was admitting he fancied him, he was looking at him uncharacteristically red and making his own heart fill with heat.

"Oh," he said, at a loss for words.

And then he frowned, remembering what he said the day before. "Then why did you have to be such an ass about it the other day? You were killing me there, Sherlock, I haven't been able to think about anything since you've come back. Your skin, your scent, anything you did... it was all driving me crazy..."

Sherlock's eyes invaded John's. A dick? A dick?! he hadn't been a dick! He had just tried to keep it cool and less awkward.

"because I thought you wanted things to be casual. And I wasn't a 100% certain about the things I felt." Sherlock explained, feelin a bit stupid for how he had been acting. "I didn knew you were so occupied by it." he added, smiling sheepishly to try and light the moo a bit.

John groaned at Sherlock's words. "How can you be so stupid about relationship is utterly beyond me, have you not deduced my feelings?" he snapped and then tried to calm himself, Sherlock had just said he fancied him, it meant that he could... he could love him.

He took in a deep breath and tried to think about what was best to do.
"So you were jealous!" he realized suddenly. "Of Hanna, now, you were bloody jealous, weren't you?"

"I deduced you were angry and worked up over it. Your eyes never dilated when I faced you. You gave me all the wrong sighs." He dryly said, not wanting to hear that he had been ignorant for all John felt.

He scoffed loudly at the next words. Jealous...

"No I wasn't." He snapped a little, throwing John a confused look as if he didn't knew what he was on about. Hoping his friend would take it as a clear enough answer.

"Sherlock, why would I be angry and tense about it if not because I had feelings for you?" He exclaimed, shaking his head. "You acted as if it was just sex, as if you had me once and were never going to want me again! While I was left pining for you!"

He didn't buy it, he was sure Sherlock had been jealous, it made perfect sense!
"Oh, is that so?" He said, and his lips curled into a grin. "Then you wouldn't mind if I went to her now to ask her out, would you?"

"You're angry and worked up all of the time." Sherlock hissed a bit. "You were not talking about it while otherwise you talk about everything." His brown raised into the air slightly.

Sherlock's lips pouted slightly when John mentioned asking her out. It felt as is a huge hand gripped around his heart and started pulling it. But on the outside he remained his cool self.

"No, I wouldn't. She's married, remember. She won't say yes, she can't go on evening dates. Beside, you wouldn't want me to mention what happened in here, would you?" He added, curling up his lips.

"I am not angry all the time!" He protested, knowing there was some truth in it and it stung. "It's you who drives me up the bloody walls!"

His eyebrow rose slightly in surprise at Sherlock's denial. God, he could frustrate him so much. "She is married, but her husband is never around... And you've seen it, she /wants/ me, I can have her whenever I want to," he muttered in a warning tone.

Blue eyes narrowed as he looked at Sherlock, for a moment worried whether he was serious in his menace, and then he laughed a bit. "And what do you think that would be? Jealousy, possessive behaviour, marking you territory," he explained amused.

"You ARE angry all of the time. You get angry at machines when you need to check out groceries." Sherlock frowned. If John was going to deny this, he was going to deny his jealousy.

His heart wrenched once again when John said he could have her whenever he wanted.
He didn't like that idea, at all. And he would in fact do everything to prevent it.

Sherlock's eyes rolled back as John merrily explained how he thought Sherlock was being. However, he still wasn't buying it.

"If I was possessive I would not have told you that you can go and ask her out. I'm hardly possessive at all. This is just being ahead of the game." He shrugged lightly.

"Fine, well, I am bloody short-tempered, but I have my reasons, I don't just lash out to you for no reason, when have I ever done that? You just never really pay attention to me," he protested, and groaned at the rest of Sherlock's words.

"You are really unable to be straight out honest with me, aren't you?" He snapped, and then rubbed his frown, trying to calm his feelings.

"Then if you really have nothing against it, I will go out with her," he looked at the desk, still messy for their activities. "I could probably fuck her right here where I did you .."

Sherlock chest was boiling hot with anger and jealousy when John said he would fuck Hanna right there. He couldn't believe those words. First John said he had feelings all along and now he was offering to have sex with just any woman. However, Sherlock knew John was just trying to prove his point, something Sherlock didn't want to give him.

"Fine. Go ahead and fuck your precious colleague." He hissed, bowing over John a little. "But your chances are shot to hell."

The detective turned around and walked out of John's office. On the way out he passed Hanna, he couldn't help but stop by and turn over to her. "John's warmed up, think he's ready for you now." He said with an evil grin on his face. Arrogantly he turned back round and paced towards the exit.

John was about to say something back, just as hurtful, but he was silenced by Sherlock's departure, when he finally realized that he had blown the whole thing out of proportion and messed everything up.

He groaned when the door slammed closed and he looked at the desk again. It was just ridiculous, he had been so sure Sherlock was jealous, but here he was, alone in his office, with only the memory of what it was to kiss Sherlock.

He moved to clean up his desk, terrified someone would come in and realize what had happened. He knew he'd get sacked, and he really didn't need this at the moment. When Hanna came in to check on him a few minutes later, everything was in its place and she didn't seem to notice anything, even though she was looking at him a bit oddly.

When she asked him for a drink that night, he said yes, but he also invited Sarah and the other colleagues on his way out, making sure it wasn't just the two of them.
It didn't matter what he had said to Sherlock in his moment of anger, he was in love with him, and he would never be able to be with anyone else.

Even as he drank a few beers, Sherlock was all he thought about, and when he dragged himself home at midnight, Sherlock was still in his thoughts.
He was sure he had ruined everything though, everything there could ever be.

Sherlock had went straight home. He was angry with John, he couldn't believe he would still go and fuck someone else, as if Sherlock never opened up to him. Even though Sherlock did regret not being able to admit he had been jealous.

The rest of the night, Sherlock decided to wait for John to come home. And he waited, and waited. It wasn't until 12.30AM that he finally heard some noise down stairs. By the way John had opened the lock, he could tell he had been drinking.

Sherlock was stretched out on the sofa as John's shadow appeared in the living room.
"Let me guess..." Sherlock began. "Her husband was home so she couldn't invite you over." His voice sounded dry and sarcastic.

"Jesus Christ!" John exclaimed as Sherlock's voice startled him. "What are you doing up?" He snapped, holding his chest, willing his heart to calm down.

He slowly registered the sarcastic tone and words, his fuzzy brain taking a while to understand what was going on. "You can be epically stupid when you want to, Sherlock," he muttered and opened his arms a bit, as if daring Sherlock to read him.

"You can deduce anything from the way I walk, but you can't tell I am bloody in love with you and would never be able to get it up unless it was with you?" He said with a soft laugh.

"Why would I be sleeping? Sleep is boring." Sherlock said as he lifted himself up to his elbows to have a better look at John. His eyes narrowed as John spoke and opened up his arms.

5 beers and 2 shots of tequila, slight stains of lipstick on his lower cheek; Hanna tried to kiss him but he refused. Had two salty crackers, no wait.. 3..4! salty crackers.

However, feelings were something Sherlock had always looked passed when it came down to John. "Telling me you're going to have sex with another woman is a great way of convincing me of your feelings, John." Sherlock said, still as sarcastic as before.

"I just wanted you to admit you were jealous," he said, walking closer, grabbing the other's shoulders and pushing him back so he would look at him. "I wanted you to tell me I was yours and no one else could have me," he added, blues eyes moving on his face.

His heart was beating fast again, but this time it wasn't for the surprise he had felt, it was merely because he was close to Sherlock. "I just wanted you to stop being so bloody cold and distant towards me..."

Sherlock gasped in surprise, his hands gripping around John's sleeve to keep himself balanced. The smell of alcohol penetrated his nose and he pulled it up a little, not liking the way it infected his brain.

"Fine." Sherlock said louder. "I was bloody jealous." He snapped. "And I couldn't stand the fact there was a woman near you. I couldn't stand you were out with someone other then me." His words came out very serious and strong. His eyes drilled into John's and for a moment he just stared into them.

"But you were the one giving me the idea I needed to be distant, John. You!" He pushed John away in all of his emotions, but regretted it as soon as he did, knowing the other man was drunk and could get out of balance.

John couldn't help the grin that crossed his lips as Sherlock admitted he had been jealous, he couldn't help thinking that then maybe they were on the same page and maybe, just maybe, they could be together. He frowned a bit when he realized that Sherlock had truly been worried he would be with someone else.

"Sherlock," he muttered, and was about to explain to him again that he would never want any one else, when he was pushed back and had to fight to stay on his feet.

"Jesus," he mumbled, tripping on his own feet and ending up on the couch. "Damn, Sherlock, did you need to do that?" he protested, annoyed.

He groaned as he sat up, "How was I giving you the idea that you needed to be distant?" he repeated, shaking his head.

Sherlock quickly stretched his arms to grab John, making sure he didn't fall and hurt himself. He sighed deep as John fell back on the sofa. "I'm sorry." Sherlock muttered as he let go of his grip on John's sleeve.

"You didn't talk to me about anything. You usually alwaystalk about things." He started to explain, looking down at his own kneed. "You gave me the impression it was casual, so I lived up to that. But when we did it earlier I.. I felt so many things I have never felt before." His eyes fluttered up to John.

"Oh Sherlock," he whimpered, not sure how they managed to get entangled in such a mess. "I... I was hurting... you acted like nothing happened, I thought I was supposed to do the same, but I was... I realized I was in love with you and it was killing me to be close to you and not being able to have you... It was haunting me," he muttered, honesty clear as light in his drunken voice.

"I couldn't talk about it, I was... too scared... I thought I was just supposed to forget about what we had..." He looked at his hands as well. "But all I think about is you, Sherlock, it was like that even when you were gone..."

"Well I guess we both gave each other the wrong signs." He sighed. How could he have missed these signs? He, out of all people, missing the most important thing.

"Look at us both." Sherlock said, full of pity for them both. "You getting drunk to get your courage up, and me getting high on nicotine patches to try and get you out of my mind." He shrugged and shook his head at the thought.

John smiled at Sherlock's words, his head lolling to the side. "I wasn't just with Hanna, you know... there were others... at the pub..." he pointed out and his eyes were moving on Sherlock's body. "I don't even know why she likes me so much... but... I am not interested..."

He shrugged one shoulder, taking in a deep breath before he let himself speak again. "I don't want to be out of your mind..." he whispered, his eyes sparkling softly.

Sherlock scoffed a bit. "she tried to kis you though." he said. Not that it mattered, he just wanted John to know that he could deduce those things.

"it was driving me insane John. Thinking about you knowing that I couldn't have you." he confessed. He had spent the whole night gettin frustrated over that. "I don't want to forget about you, I just want to knowhow if i can have you."