You: John, I need you home. It's an experiment, need help. SH
Stranger: For goodness' sakes Sherlock, I'm on the other side of London. Just tell me exactly what you want me to do. JW
You: I want you to come home. SH
Stranger: What is this experiment that is so important I need to travel across the city for? JW
You: I set my arm on fire. SH
Stranger: I told you not to smoke in the house! JW
You: John, just come home. SH
Stranger: Sigh. Fine, I'll be there in ten. JW
You: Good. SH
Stranger: (ten minutes later) JW - *attempts to open locked door* Sherlock? Sherlock it's me, open the door.
You: *Sherlock opens the door, and peaks around it.* John! *pulls door open the rest of the way burned arm hanging at his side*
Stranger: JW - Oh my god, what happened? Quick, we need to get you to the hospital, fast. *runs off to get bandages*
You: John, I'm fine. Its a small burn. *sighs and closes the door*
Stranger: No, it's not Sherlock, your arm is covered with second-degree burns and if you don't treat it immediately, you'll lose that arm.
You: John, can't you treat it?
Stranger: Not with the first aid kit Mrs Hudson gave me, you need proper medical equipment to treat that.
Stranger: No one got as burned as that when I was in Afghanistan. And if they did, there would be no point in me treating a corpse.
You: *sighs* Fine, I'll go.
Stranger: Need me to call a taxi? Or can you do that with the hideously disfigured fingers? *rolls eyes*
You: I do have a free hand.
Stranger: And you will continue to have A free hand if we don't get you patched up. Come on, follow me.
You: *Sighs again, following him in slight shame*
Stranger: (black car pulls up outside 221B) MH - Good afternoon, brother mine.
You: Hello, brother, come to see me at one of my worst?
Stranger: On the contrary Sherlock, this is the healthiest I've seen you. You're not drooling over my carpet from various drug influences as usual.
You: Instead I will just be bleeding. That's much better.
Stranger: At least your bodily fluids will not be soiling my carpet this time. Doctor Watson, you'd better come along to the hospital as well.
Stranger: JW - How did you know...
You: Of course he knew John, he has camera in our flat. He probably recorded me setting my arm a blaze.
Stranger: Well spotted Sherlock, but I will not be removing any of the dozens of cameras I have planted. You've already tried to do that and well, your arm shows what happens when you tamper with government property.
You: Why would you put a camera that exploded when dismantled in our flat!
Stranger: Precautions dear brother. We don't want you to ruin that nice carpet of yours now would we?
You: It's your fault I will only have one arm!
Stranger: JW - you will do if we keep wasting time here instead of speeding to the hospital.
Stranger: MH - *shakes head* Always in a rush, you humans. There's not a ticking time bomb on a burnt arm Doctor Watson.
You: Do shut up Mycroft. *sways slightly due to blood loss*
Stranger: JW - *catches Sherlock and leads him into the car* Come on Mycroft!
Stranger: MH taps the top of the car with his umbrella and they speed away.
You: SH has passed out, after stumbling into the car.
Stranger: MH - Oh god, he's not going to bleed over my seats is he?
Stranger: JW rushes to SH's aid, taking his pulse.
You: SH bleeds on seats just to spite Mycroft
Stranger: Mycroft opens umbrella to shield himself from SH wiping his arm on his seats looking away in disgust.
Stranger: JW - boys, could we not do this now?
You: Where would all the fun be then John. *mumbles still abit out of it*
Stranger: MH - Oh yes, fun. Of course, you're all over that now, aren't you Sherlock?
You: Shut up Myc.
Stranger: Driver - We're here!
Stranger: MH - Right, well. *looks at JW expectantly who returns a puzzled expression* Oh you weren't expecting me to carry him out were you? I do dislike legwork so.
You: SH sighs, trying to get out on his lwn and failing*
Stranger: MH - He does love to be dramatic.
You: *moans slightly from the floor*
Stranger: JW calls attention of several hospital staff who help SH on a gurney. MH starts to get into the car and motions for JW to follow.
You: SH is rolled off to the ER
Stranger: JW looks at MH, then moves towards SH. MH stops JW (you) with his umbrella.
Stranger: What use will you be of him following him around like that?
You: I'm sorry that my friend, your brother, is such an inconvenience to you.
Stranger: Our relationship is nothing more than a biological bond and a promise to our mother, it does not concern you. Now, to the more pressing and unpleasant matter at hand, I need you to do something for me.
You: *sighs* What is it?
Stranger: I have a certain gentlemen at The Diogenes Club who is in need of medical assistance of an.. indelicate nature. He does not trust anyone but my little brother, and he knows that mutual trust is not a thing to be taken lightly.
Stranger: *coughs uncomfortably and gestures towards the open car door*
You: *sighs and go to get back in*
Stranger: (after several minutes of silence) I hope you won't mind... he does have certain inappropriate tendencies. I trust you will remain professional in your treatment?
You: Of course, now who is my patient?
Stranger: Professor James Moriaty senior.
You: As in...
Stranger: Yes. Jim Moriaty's father. I'm afraid I may have lured you into a trap Doctor Watson. You see, he approached me yesterday and asked to see Sherlock Holmes. Naturally, with my brother's habit of knowing things he shouldn't, he ripped open one of the hidden cameras in his flat and burned his arm severely, giving him an excuse not to see the professor. You were the next best thing I could think of, god knows I've tried to think of better things, so I'm bringing my lamb to it's potential slaughter.
You: Let me out Mycroft Holmes.
Stranger: *looks meaningfully towards the driver through the rear view mirror, who locked the doors and tints the windows* It's too late for that now Doctor.
Stranger: I'll let you out in *looks at watch* seven minutes and thirty seven seconds.
You: I want out Now! Not when ever we get to where your heading
Stranger: Driver, accelerate to a speed that would prove lethal to someone trying to jump out of the vehicle that is moving at said speed.
You: *growls in frustration* I'd jump either way.
Stranger: Then you and my brother will have matching skin burns on your arms.
You: I would happily walk my self to A&E
Stranger: Or perhaps, not just your arms. *car speeds up even more*
Stranger: At this rate I could let you out in twenty seconds less than the estimated time.
You: *reaches into pocket and pulls out his gun* Or I could shoot my self in the head.
Stranger: Such touching sentiment for a person you said you weren't loyal to in our first meeting. Put the gun down Doctor Watson, the seats have already been splattered with my brother's blood, I would hate for a similar substance to be splashed on my tinted windows.
You: Or maybe I will just shoot you.
Stranger: You won't.
Stranger: You have always been the emotionless soldier Doctor Watson, the one whom has killed men in the blink of an eye, the one who lost his friend and attacks him at every opportunity after he finds out he was really alive. It will all get too much for a simple human like yourself eventually. *nods at JW's shaking hand* Your left hand is perfectly unsteady.
You: *adjusts his grip* Your right. *turns of safety and points it to his head,*
Stranger: I know a real gun when I see one Doctor Watson, and so does my brother when he's... experimenting. Care to light my cigarette for me?
You: *pulls gun away pulling the trigger, and seeing its a lighter, throws it at MH*
Stranger: Temper temper. *picks up the lighter and extracts a cigarette from his jacket* We're nearly there. Hardly sporting of you to start throwing tantrums around our guest is it?
Stranger: Driver pulls up to the manor and an old man in a wheelchair with his cap obscuring his face is being wheeled down a ramp.
Stranger: Driver opens door as the old man is wheeled to the car. JMS - Doctor Watson.
You: Professor Moriarty.
Stranger: James, please. Mycroft, you will leave us.
Stranger: MH - I should think -
Stranger: JMS - You will leave us. *driver shuts the door uneasily and hurries off*
Stranger: *turns to JW* Where is Sherlock Holmes?
You: In A&E, he set his arm on fire and has 2nd degree burns.
Stranger: *laughs* He'll keep making excuses not to see me, but he will, soon enough.
You: *rolls eyes*
Stranger: I am doubtful you have the same intellectual dexterity as your.. friend, to comprehend what I am about to tell you.
You: Oi! *he yells, before going silent*
Stranger: *fixes him with a condescending stare* Nevertheless, I will attempt to put it into words you will understand. (motions for himself to be wheeled back into the manor) Would you like a drink?
You: No, thank you.
Stranger: You sure? *gets handed a glass of whisky* Sherry here is very good this time of year.
Stranger: *shrugs* I am here because of what happened to my son. You said his body was never recovered. Well *takes shaky sip of whisky* it just has. (slides over a section of the newspaper with the headline BODY PARTS DISCOVERED IN THE RIVER THAMES)
Stranger: Bits of it anyway. (looks into glass as JW reads the article) We're not too sure if they're him... but a jacket was discovered alongside a leg that had his name sown into it. The jacket I mean.
You: And you expect Sherlock to...
Stranger: Identify the body parts of course. I haven't seen my son in years, and with my eyesight I wouldn't be able to see them even if they were right under my nose. He displayed his observational skills in identifying Miss Adler a few years ago, I was quite impressed.
You: I'll ask him about it some time
Stranger: I do hope you will soon. (MH's car reappears and they make their way back outside) In the meantime *JW opens door* Try not to... (flips up cap revealing his true identity of JM) miss me..
Stranger: The End